Love is Not Enough
by littlestkitten
Summary: Yuuri proposes. And means it this time. Conrad/Yuuri. Without You I'm Nothing arc, follows "Fire in the Sky"


Title: Love is Not Enough

Author: Littlestkitten (saratu on lj)

Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou

Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri

Series: Without You I'm Nothing arc

Rating: PG

Word Count: 936

Summary: Yuuri proposes. And means it this time.

Notes: I've had this scene running through my head for about a year now. I recently tried to write it down and it just wouldn't work. This is the third version I've written so far. The first one is in omniscient POV and the other from Conrad's POV. They just didn't work for me. I suppose I should stick to Yuuri. I've sort of been in a writing slump so I apologize if this is not up to par. I just wanted to finally get it written. Also, I meant this to be happy since I was in such a good mood today. It sort of decided not to be. Sorry.

Yuuri stared in surprise at his hand. He hadn't meant to do that. Well, he had, but he hadn't meant to do it the way he had. He'd wanted to do this the traditional Earth way. He didn't like hurting people and he'd always been confused about how such an important and loving question could be asked in such a violent way. But every time he'd mustered up the courage to ask, he just couldn't find the words. His mouth would open and nothing would come out. He would make up elaborate speeches in his head of what he was going to say and forget them the instant he saw Conrad.

So he'd tried to write it out. Except he'd had just as much trouble, if not more, putting his words down on paper. Everything sounded trite, or insincere, or it just didn't make sense. He'd finally decided to just do it tonight. No thinking, no second-guessing, he would just open his mouth and let the words come. But that hadn't exactly worked out for him. And now Conrad was staring at him with an almost hurt expression, like he'd killed his favorite puppy or something, and Yuuri was really starting to think he'd made the worst mistake of his life. Because at least Wolfram had had the decency to get angry, and not make him feel like he'd done something cruel.

"Heika?" Conrad asked, his expression now turning back to the cool mask that he always wore. "Have I offended you somehow?"

Yuuri blinked at him. And then opened his mouth. And then closed it and blinked again. He finally managed to let out a startled 'buh?' before stopping and trying to figure out what he'd done wrong. Slapping somebody was a proposal, right? It wasn't something that changed with location. He hadn't just insulted Conrad's mother or something, right?

Or maybe Conrad just didn't like him that way. And pretending to not understand was his way of letting him down gently. They'd never really spoken of this, after all, and they'd never made any sort of promises. Just let things go as they would. Yuuri had always taken for granted that Conrad's silence on the matter was the same as his consent. But what if he'd only been doing this because Yuuri was the king? What if Conrad had never felt that way about him at all, and had only felt obligated by duty?

Yuuri looked up at Conrad, as if seeing him would answer all his questions. But all it did was remind him that the soldier had a near impeccable poker face. He frowned and looked back down at his feet, which were scuffing the stones they were standing on. He wasn't going to let this go. It wasn't like he could be any more embarrassed than he already was, so even if Conrad didn't feel the same way, he really didn't have much to lose. But if it was just a misunderstanding of meanings, than he had to know, and he had to make it right. He squared his shoulders and prepared to either be made the happiest person in the world, or to have his dreams crushed.

"I'm sorry if I was mistaken about the customs here. I thought that that meant I was asking you to marry me?"

"That is what it means," Conrad replied after hesitating for a few moments.

There was silence as both men watched each other. Yuuri was still confused about what he could have done to cause this reaction and also nervous about what the answer to his question would be. He bit his lip as he fidgeted slightly.

"You don't have to say 'yes'!" Yuuri finally burst out. "Just please don't leave me hanging. I deserve an answer. And don't agree because I'm the king. Please? Promise me you wouldn't say that because you think you have to?"

"Of course I wouldn't," Conrad paused and looked around as if trying to draw inspiration for his next words. "I was just surprised, that's all. I . . . I'm not the sort of person Heika should be proposing to."

"Why not?" Yuuri asked while glaring. "I love you. Doesn't that make you exactly the sort of person I should be proposing to?"

"Heika-"

"It's Yuuri!" That was the final straw and he turned as if to go back inside before spinning back around in indecision. Conrad was looking after him with a look of such longing that it made his heart hurt in sympathy. The instance he realized Yuuri had not left, however, his expression shuttered back to the usual fake smile he always wore.

"You love me," Yuuri whispered with certainty and some surprise. "I don't understand, why . . . why won't you let us be together?"

The soldier sighed before looking off into the distance as if it held all the answers.

"Yuuri," He started before stopping again. "Yuuri, you are right, I do love you. But love is not always enough. There are so many reasons why we can't be together. I am nothing but a half-breed soldier. You need to marry somebody of your own status, somebody worthy of the Maou. I'm sorry, Yuuri, but that cannot be me. No matter how much I want it to be."

"But," Yuuri started to protest as the other man moved to go around him. Conrad just looked at him with sad eyes and continued. Yuuri let his hand drop and watched as the man he loved left him for a second time. Except this time he wouldn't be coming back.


End file.
